Zoe Alexandra Dead End Job

Sticky outside
100 degrees
I’m sitting on the steps
of the sober house
wishing I could be anyone
but myself

There used to be hands
inside my chest
that reached out
said come on
take me
I love adventure
They used to
speak in Southern drawls
wrap my hair
in yellow ribbons
fill up my gas tank
and send me states away
to be a vessel for
the cowboys and the truckers
to be a bright red siren
at a motel 8
twisting telephone wire
around a perfectly painted nail

my skin used to flush
from embarassment
I wore the emotions
like masks
I used to feel everything

I stub my cigarette out on the porch
drive to my dead end
job.

After the Diner

If I could keep you
Lock you up
Inside my jewelry box
And wear you like
A string of pearls
Whenever I wanted
That wouldn’t be good enough

I want you
To want to
Grasp for me
In a desperate
Sick
Way
I want you to long for me,
A glass that grows half empty
That you cannot stop pouring
into.

I need a minute
I need a tissue.
I need to collect myself.
Call me tomorrow.

Nothing Gold Can Stay,
Pony boy
You’ll be young forever
And I’ll grow old
And wrinkled
Like a week old plum
Still sweet and sour
But past it’s shelf-life.

Baby me, baby me,
You say
I want to bite your eye
I want to lick your face
You say
And then you hang up
And I listen to the dial tone
Like a sad dog moan.

Once in a motel
You wrapped your
Leg around my torso
You said,
You can cuddle me.
But I’m so tired of
Being a mother,
Lost boy
I wanted someone
To hold me
Fell asleep for weeks
Dreaming of hands
That come from behind me
That cradle me and
Play with my insides

I dreamed of you
in between dreams
Of clogged garbage disposals
and mixing lettuce bags
I dreamed of you
Your breath on my neck
Warm and tired

Saying
Just one more time
And I’ll never ask again

And I hoped you would.

Zoe Alexandra is a twenty-three old writer from New York City. Her writing has appeared in various online and print publications including Best Lesbian Erotica 2007 (Cleis Press), My Time – Lunch Book (Poet Plant Press), Zygote in My Coffee, Deconstruction Quarterly, Silenced Press, Mad Swirl, The Common-Line Project, Indite Circle, Remark, Erotic Writers & Readers Association, Thieves Jargon, Sisters of the Page, Instant Pussy, Word Riot and The Cerebral Catalyst. Future work will appear in Debris a print issue of Zygote in My Coffee and Best Erotica 2007 (Arnoldo Mondadori Editore- Milan Italy). She is currently at work on a chapbook with Scintillating Publications entitled, “Cock Shy”. www.myspace.com/zoe_tang.

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